too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
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I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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