Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life