You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.