I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.