I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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