so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.