It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?