Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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