you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's