May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."