oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?