One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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