something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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