Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
