I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize