hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
