Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
