he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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