worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
