We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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