Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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