is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
