just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize