A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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