i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize