I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
ttyl tear gas
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
