So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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