Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
