I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
