pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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