After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She's the barista slut.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.