I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.