I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The air taste purple.
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