ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i love accidental penises.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize