i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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