I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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