Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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