There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
