We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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