gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize