how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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