I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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