It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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