And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.