I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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