if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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