I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
