it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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