I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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