positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize