she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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