scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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