1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
