i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
