i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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