Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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